Again today, you spoke
with only half of me.
Did you notice?
Or did I succeed in distracting you
with my lopsided happy dance?
That’s what I do now, you know,
twirl and spin one half of me to make you laugh,
so you don’t see
you won’t miss
the other one:
the half that feels unwelcome,
the half that causes you to fold your arms
the half I push to one side
so that you and I can still say I love you,
which we do, and mean it.
Half of me dances her heart out to make sure
the doors remain closed, the
worms stay trapped in their vacuum-sealed cans.
I am tired, but we are worth it,
love. Half is better than none.
I wrap myself in my fuzzy blanket of justification:
you seem happier that way, right?
What matters is, we still say I love you, right?
Half has to be better than none.
Right?
Half of me nods. But the other half knows:
in preserving us, I am losing myself.
None of us was born to be half ourselves;
love is not love
that loves not all.
Perhaps this dance tires you too, love, and
today is the day we both limp away,
half-hearted
Or maybe it’s the day
I invite my banished half to join me, and
stand still in your presence,
needing nothing
and giving nothing
but the love that
I am,
and always have been:
whole
With gratitude for your amazing gift with words and bravery to share your innermost truths through this gift. Know they move me.
omg - that spoke to me in a loud voice! Thank you for this...