38 Comments
Aug 20, 2023Liked by Mary Poindexter McLaughlin

I can imagine it, Mary, a glorious forest, we can be it! ❤️

So many synchronicities here, from the Overstory that sits on my own shelf, to Ram Das whose book was one of the first I read when I woke up, to the tree hugging (love the photo!) which was the activity responsible for costing the kids and I a whole hour to comeback from the store because Frankie had to stop and hug every. single. tree.

I’ve also added your book in my cue to order.

Btw, I remember an anecdote that Ram Das shared about being pulled over by a cop while driving and when the cop came over to write the citation, Ram Das greeted him with “hello, brother” and broke the spell of the pre contextual relationship the two were supposed to have. I think of that often. How in society it’s hard to break from the roles we’re playing and just look upon each other as humans. Underneath the costumes we put on to signify what we are and what status we hold is the light that informs who we are.

Thanks for writing such a grounding post. Beautiful. ❤️

Expand full comment
author

Wow... that's a lot of synchronicities, Tonika! Or "synchrodestinies," as Deepak Chopra calls them. I love my mind's image of Frankie hugging every. single. tree! 😂

And what a great story of Ram Dass. Costumes! Yes! As "former" theatre people (we will return again, dammit) we know from roles and costumes, eh?

Glad the post had a grounding effect. Just what I hoped 🌳

Expand full comment

“Bless this Mess”

Remember those plaques that used to hang in the kitchens of many bustling households? Truly, for a householder, the blessing is in the mess of it all, as you so beautifully describe.

For me, motherhood was a monastery. I began practicing meditation twice daily at home when my children were young --that was the easy part. Maintaining a peace loving attitude while being challenged by those rascally little monks was the real spiritual curriculum that taught me everything I needed to know to grow my soul.

This quotation by Ram Dass captures the curriculum perfectly for me now as I work with people every day:

"I help people as a way to work on myself, and I work on myself to help people.”

Thank you for the abundance of wisdom you share with us,Mary!

Expand full comment
author

I do remember, Katie! And I so deeply resonate with "motherhood as monastery." Reading "Eat, Pray, Love" when I was at home with three kids made me so angry -- I wrote my play "The Buddha's Wife" after reading it.

In it, one character says "I heard about this book you'd love. It's about this woman who finds god by spending four months eating in Italy, four months meditating in India, and four months banging some guy in Indonesia--" and the main character replies, "Give me a break. No job, no kids, no bills to pay.... just living at an ashram or eating gelato every day or having sex non-stop. Who couldn't attain enlightenment under those circumstances?"

I'm so glad for you and the work you're doing in the world, Katie! ❤️

Expand full comment

Beautiful reflection. I loved 'The Overstory!' And I have a lifelong history of loving trees. I wrote a piece long ago on growing up in a tree. Which was a mimosa tree in my backyard. I spent a ridiculous amount of time in it. It was without a doubt my best friend. Yes, trees are very much intelligent and loving and we treat them like things!

When I say some of my best friends are tress I mean it.

I read a lot of Ram Dass in my twenties and thirties. Being here now, in a body, is where all the action is. It's a tremendous gift. It is odd indeed how many of us attempt to escape it via 'spiritual' practices. (No small thing getting here!)

These aspects - physical, emotional, mental and spiritual - are designed to operate together. Our separating them is out, must ultimately lead to an integration or we miss the larger point.

Thank you, Mary. Very wise and uplifting essay. Love that pic!

Expand full comment
author

I'd love to read your piece about growing up in your mimosa tree! Did you ever read Italian writer Italo Calvino's book, "The Baron in the Trees"? A wonderful, magical book.

Yes, yes, yes... integration is so essential! Across the board! The movement to compartmentalize and "specialize," especially in medicine, has had thoroughly dreadful consequences -- as you well know.

Thanks for the comment, Kathleen. You're so gracious.

Expand full comment
Aug 20, 2023Liked by Mary Poindexter McLaughlin

Well, Mary, you can only imagine how much I loved this. Especially the last line. I believe it will happen. And this - "I want to be more and more like a tree: travel in stillness; rest in action; and help others. Here. Now." 💚

I laugh out loud every time Grammarly tries to change he or she to "it" when I'm writing about an animal or a plant. They are sentient beings, just like we humans.

I'm a little reticent to admit that I had a really hard time loving that book. Me, the Tree-Lover. I might have to revisit it one day.

While community is essential, I think we are all different in how much we need it, and it can change over time. In my elder years, solitude has helped me grow by leaps and bounds. I don't really have a strong likeminded community here yet and I annoy the friends I do have by declining a lot of their social offers. There are a lot of lonely elders, for sure, and that is sad. Perhaps they're the Libras or the Leos, two of the more social signs. Or the Cancers for who family is everything. We're all so different, and yet, yes, we are social beings.

Anyway, I'm rambling now. Beautiful post, Mary. 🌲🌲🌲 💚

Expand full comment
author

I love your ramblings, Barbara!

I can understand your reaction to The Overstory. My delight in Powers's use of language pushed me past some challenges I had with it. Ultimately, the ending disappointed a bit, but overall I was really swept up in the story.

Re: community, I've gone in and out of social needs in my own life, too. When my kids were little, I was maxed-out on community; now, I find I crave it to balance out my solitary writing. Thus my joy in answering comments! 😉 Thank you for yours!

Expand full comment

Yes! I love the community here as well! I kind of figured you have gone in and out of them, as well. I love your writing, Mary. xoxo

Expand full comment
Aug 20, 2023Liked by Mary Poindexter McLaughlin

Just as The Powers that Shouldn’t Be try to divide us as individuals from each other, I believe they work harder at dividing us from our true selves. Creating havoc by encouraging, no demanding, that we focus on ONE aspect of ourselves (mostly physical) and forget the rest. I finally understood that the physical, emotional, mental AND spiritual pieces of me are ONE, not separate. Be Here Now helped me on that journey of realization. I find that My purpose is to help others realize the same with Love. ❤️

Expand full comment
author

Beautifully put. Just right. You describe the "sin of separation" perfectly. Thanks for the insight... and for your journey!

Expand full comment
Aug 20, 2023Liked by Mary Poindexter McLaughlin

Another inspiring, beautiful and tear-inducing Sunday morning read! You are a bright light Mary. Thank you. ❤️

Expand full comment
author

So kind of you, CM. You're welcome. Big hugs 🤗 !

Expand full comment
Aug 25, 2023Liked by Mary Poindexter McLaughlin

I am your fellow tree, Mary...

Thanks for this beautiful piece. I love the Gandhi quote (it is the kind of life I try to lead)...and The Hidden Life of Trees - that is right up my alley, and I have placed an order for this book!

Expand full comment
author

Happy to be in the forest with you, Jack. Given your recent essay, I'm not surprised that the book resonated with you. Full disclosure: I haven't read it, so I'll be interested to hear what you think!

Expand full comment
Aug 20, 2023Liked by Mary Poindexter McLaughlin

I LOVED this, Mary! Thank you! How do you come up with these ideas to write about? You are really inspired. No doubt about it.

XOX

Expand full comment
author
Aug 21, 2023·edited Aug 21, 2023Author

Thanks, Rocket! I just ask ChatGPT to toss out a few suggestions... 😂. (Sorry, I couldn't help myself.) Big Xs and Os back atcha.❤️

Expand full comment
Aug 20, 2023Liked by Mary Poindexter McLaughlin

Gorgeous 💜 that Ghandi quote for me. Reading island of missing trees right now and the narration of the fig tree alongside the young woman is so beautiful.

Expand full comment
author

Thanks so much, Ashley. I had "Island of Missing Trees" in my hand one week ago, thinking I might read it, then reconsidered because "The Kite Runner" so destroyed me. Am now reconsidering again...😂

Expand full comment
author

Oops. Totally messed that up! I thought the person who wrote Island also wrote Kite Runner. More reconsidering!! 🙄

Expand full comment
Aug 22, 2023Liked by Mary Poindexter McLaughlin

haha! yes, not nearly as gut-wrenching - very enjoyable!!

Expand full comment
author

Excellent. It's on my To Read list now. Thanks, Ashley!

Expand full comment
founding
Aug 20, 2023Liked by Mary Poindexter McLaughlin

So very good. Reading Overstory now

Expand full comment
founding
Aug 20, 2023Liked by Mary Poindexter McLaughlin

And just came out of walking labyrinth and hugging the trees.

Expand full comment
author

Of course you did, you inveterate tree-hugger you!

Expand full comment
author

Let me know what you think, especially about the ending...

Expand full comment
founding
Aug 21, 2023Liked by Mary Poindexter McLaughlin

Okeedookee love

Expand full comment
Aug 20, 2023·edited Aug 20, 2023Liked by Mary Poindexter McLaughlin

Oh yeah!!

The gradual realisation that the sense - even if ultimately illusory - of being 'physical' and 'separate' enables a ton of learning that can't happen otherwise. And that protesting the difficulties down here is just egotistical. I'm already preparing for my next visit!

Beautiful writing, as ever....

XOX

Expand full comment
author

Thanks for your comment, Michael. Love "protesting the difficulties down here is just egotistical." P.S. -- We should all be preparing!! 😂 xox

Expand full comment
Aug 22, 2023Liked by Mary Poindexter McLaughlin

Yes, we should all be preparing. A lot of people I've spoken to over the years are aspiring to 'get off the merry go round' and not come back any more, Buddhist style. I have a lot of respect and affection for Buddhism but it seems to me this orientation is not helpful for the world, nor for the individual. Better to be on the Earth with love, do something useful. As you say, take the curriculum - joyfully!

Now I'm not especially a fan of Osho, but he said some interestiing things. One that stayed with me (I think it was him) was "your pain is but the breaking of the shell that conceals your understanding".

🌷

Expand full comment
author

Getting off the merry go round is an ambitious goal, no? Don't you sorta need to have achieved total enlightenment??

I've never come across that quote from Osho... I LOVE it. It's totally in line with what I believe about pain. I'm working on an essay about comfort; the quote may make an appearance, thank you!

Expand full comment
Aug 23, 2023Liked by Mary Poindexter McLaughlin

You're welcome...

Yes, it is extremely ambittious, but people can be very naive, as well as escapist!

For me there is rich seam of thought developing out of our back and forth here... a quote now comes to mind from Kierkegaard, which is the antidote to the absurd 'safetyism' of our society, and contrary to that eternal search for comfort... he believed that an easy life is no good to us and that an easy life suggests that we are only exploring a small facet of reality. Thus he said:

“I conceived as it my taks to create difficulties everywhere”. Wow.

Now the thing is, I can't pretend to know what is the philosphy of Kierkegaard, I just remember the quote. So this morning I had a little search. Foolish to think I might get to know what his philosophy is with a quick online search, but along the way I did find another great quote:

“Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.”

I thank you for the inspiration of this dialogue. It seems I need to be reminded, by you and by myself, of this important principle (of accepting difficulty). I really feel a great sense of kindred spirit with you, across the thousands of miles and sporadic substack dialoges. As ever, XOX.

By the way, I remembered a little more at the beginning of the Osho quote. It was “Don't try to escape. Your pain is but the breaking of the shell that conceals your understanding”.

Expand full comment
author

Feeling the same kindredness, Michael! I have to thank you again... your additions from Kierkegaard and the "Don't try to escape" lead-in from Osho will also make their way into my comfort essay. I may also quote you, too, if you don't mind...😉

Expand full comment
Aug 23, 2023Liked by Mary Poindexter McLaughlin

That piece really needs to be written - and nobody better to write it! And since I still have an ego, I will of course be delighted to be quoted! ;-)

Expand full comment
Comment deleted
Expand full comment
author

Yes! We forget so easily that being human is the point the universe is trying to make. Thank you for your insightful comment, Garry!

Expand full comment
Comment deleted
Expand full comment
author

I can get on board with that view, though I'm open to other possibilities, too!

Expand full comment
Comment deleted
Expand full comment
author

Thanks, If My People! Sounds deeply meaningful. Send along anything you like!❤️

Expand full comment