What a gift you and Peter gave your children! Playing outdoors and playing make believe indoors are like air and water for children, yet they’ve become rare events for most. Beyond that, getting used to being different from an early age becomes like a super power as they get older, when mindless conformity becomes dangerous. Sometimes the most beneficial use of parent power is to just say no like you did. Thanks for this message. I share your passion on this topic; children have borne the brunt of the technological takeover as you clearly explain. Thank you for sharing this important information!!
👏 👏 👏 not gonna lie, super impressive! My kids love the outdoors (camping, fishing, hiking), but they also love their screens. Although, the youngest loses attention pretty quickly and would rather just listen to music. And dance! I couldn’t care less for a TV. We have a tiny one in the living room. I’d never put one in a bedroom. I didn’t have a televisión throughout my 20s, but now, I’d like air playing a podcast on it once in awhile. But I’m super impressed you did that with three young ones (relatively close in age). Kudos to you and Peter.
I was raised out doors. Well, it was more like, my parents opened the door, and out I went until dinner. I'd climb up trees onto the roof of our house. As a young kid, my friends and I would crawl through the storm drains on our street. Adventure and discovery was the game. It made me very independent. We raised our children similarly. Our two homes were situated in large areas of grass and woods. It was more interesting that whatever was on TV. It has given them an inner confidence and independence that has benefited them in their careers and families. I'm passing along your post to a number of people. Looking forward to more wisdom.
We have followed a similar path with our kids homeschooling. One of their daily classes was life skills: cooking, cleaning, gardening. They learned from me (a former union laborer) how to work hard, fast and efficiently. How to turn a big chore into a game or contest. My wife taught about precision, perfection, and attention to detail through baking (her parents owned a bakery). Over time they took these attributes and applied them to their own passions. My older son built a forge, learn to blacksmith and was making and selling knives by the time he was 15. My younger son became an excellent ballet dancer, skateboarder and artist. Both have surfed and done martial arts with me since day 1. We too are the weird family in our neighborhood. Instead of watching sports on television we play sports, instead of buying things, we build things.....
It is ironic how many of the neighborhood kids eventually end up in my martial arts when their parents "don't know what to do with them." COVID was telling. Not much changed in our lives except that we had a bigger garden.
Mary, you guys are such incredible parents! It is really challenging now with the cost of childcare, to have three occupied while we both work full-time. We do have some pretty serious limits for screens but I genuinely don’t know what we would do without them! I also feel like so many people who are just 10 years or so ahead of us, had family close to help. I look forward to having that in our lives soon, and I hope that that will give our kids more opportunity doing some of the things that you’ve described here! Grateful for your perspective! I was also raised where we couldn’t come home before dinner 😂 end it was huge for my imagination, and capacity for being with others.
Ah that's an idear...I may indeed write it up... I think if ya never start ya never miss whut ya don't need! an' yup, not only are the ol' ads an' commercials funny--it's far easier ta show kids how manipulative they 'R cuz the passin' of time alone lends perspective... fake butter (Parkay!) an' doc-turds pushin' cigarettes (!), an' toothpastes "featurin' " extree fluoride--so seein' the oldies let's 'em know not ta trust the newbies either! (the jingles were better then tho!)
Oooo, clever woman! Wish I'd negotiated more like a gangsta. Those kids now know the depth and breadth of your commitment to their freedom. Good for you!
My wife and I have decided on the no TV thing, and have loved it. Some of our friends have asked us, "so, what do you do...?", to which we laugh and invite them over for dinner sometime. Thanks for this!
May 30, 2023·edited May 30, 2023Liked by Mary Poindexter McLaughlin
Oh my my, such a milquetoast warnin' from the "sTurgeon gen'ral" but of course in this day n' age've "fragiles" I guess they don't wanna break anyone's animal crackers... We also went teevee free (still are!) an' no regrets! I have (like yerself) some fond mem'ries of Andy Griffith show (yet ta revisit mit die kinder) but thanx to a trusty deeveedee player we eventually introduced The Honeymooners an' I Love Lucy, both relished over time (commercial free too!) Thankfully in the homeschool world it wuz not so uncommon... ditto I know in the land've Waldorf (so at least yer kids knew of others who went that route). Sounds like yer kiddos all got good heads on their shoulders in part b/c of it and even better--they know ta thank ya fer keepin' 'em away from the "proper-ganders" that indeed do such harm. A fun thing we did (time ta time) wuz to wartch old commercials--showin' 'em how stuff wuz sold to folks which wuz a good lesson in media studies! We've always been schmart phone free (but I'd take Maxwell Schmart's shoe phone any day!)
Excellent article Mary. The concerns you raise seem to be at the top of the list of most parents today. We have walked a similar road in our family and I have been writing along very similar lines on my substack. Here a fitting quote from my recent piece "From Feeding Moloch to Digital Minimalism":
"We sense even at a gut level that something is off with the negative influence that digital devices are having on youth, that they are conduits for portable pathologies and mood manipulation. When we get specific and ask what sacrifice the Machine demands of our children in terms of their time, mental health, relationships, overall well-being, and basic connection to reality, the cost becomes striking and unacceptable. Stated in stark terms, we are sacrificing our children to a digital Moloch whose cruelties include: slave labour, sexual exploitation, solitary confinement, addiction, depression, anxiety, and suicidality."https://schooloftheunconformed.substack.com/p/from-feeding-moloch-to-digital-minimalism
Blue light hijacks our dopamine, eventually depleting it, as a result lowering melatonin, making everyone addicted, ticking-time bombs for chronic disease:
May 29, 2023·edited May 29, 2023Liked by Mary Poindexter McLaughlin
Lovely article. Restacked! This is all the evidence anyone should need:
1 in 4 Children have had online sexual encounters with adults via social media. Nearly 1 in 3 teen girls have been approached by adults asking for nudes, while 1 in 6 girls aged 9 -12 years have interacted sexually with an adult on these platforms.
Kudos to you, Mary, and Peter for your awesome common-sense parenting. Those are three lucky children you raised. I was born in 1953 so, of course, we played outside all the time. When I had children of my own, they were outside most of the time playing with my friend's children while we always wondered where everyone else's were hiding. We did have a tv but I honestly don't remember them watching it that much. My daughter, who just turned 37, often says how glad she is that she didn't grow up with a cellphone.I'm horrified when I see a toddler in a stroller holding a phone or a tablet. And that comment at the party...just wow.
What a gift you and Peter gave your children! Playing outdoors and playing make believe indoors are like air and water for children, yet they’ve become rare events for most. Beyond that, getting used to being different from an early age becomes like a super power as they get older, when mindless conformity becomes dangerous. Sometimes the most beneficial use of parent power is to just say no like you did. Thanks for this message. I share your passion on this topic; children have borne the brunt of the technological takeover as you clearly explain. Thank you for sharing this important information!!
👏 👏 👏 not gonna lie, super impressive! My kids love the outdoors (camping, fishing, hiking), but they also love their screens. Although, the youngest loses attention pretty quickly and would rather just listen to music. And dance! I couldn’t care less for a TV. We have a tiny one in the living room. I’d never put one in a bedroom. I didn’t have a televisión throughout my 20s, but now, I’d like air playing a podcast on it once in awhile. But I’m super impressed you did that with three young ones (relatively close in age). Kudos to you and Peter.
I was raised out doors. Well, it was more like, my parents opened the door, and out I went until dinner. I'd climb up trees onto the roof of our house. As a young kid, my friends and I would crawl through the storm drains on our street. Adventure and discovery was the game. It made me very independent. We raised our children similarly. Our two homes were situated in large areas of grass and woods. It was more interesting that whatever was on TV. It has given them an inner confidence and independence that has benefited them in their careers and families. I'm passing along your post to a number of people. Looking forward to more wisdom.
Awesome Mary! Good on you and Peter for having the foresight and strength to make such a powerfully positive and lasting commitment.
We have followed a similar path with our kids homeschooling. One of their daily classes was life skills: cooking, cleaning, gardening. They learned from me (a former union laborer) how to work hard, fast and efficiently. How to turn a big chore into a game or contest. My wife taught about precision, perfection, and attention to detail through baking (her parents owned a bakery). Over time they took these attributes and applied them to their own passions. My older son built a forge, learn to blacksmith and was making and selling knives by the time he was 15. My younger son became an excellent ballet dancer, skateboarder and artist. Both have surfed and done martial arts with me since day 1. We too are the weird family in our neighborhood. Instead of watching sports on television we play sports, instead of buying things, we build things.....
It is ironic how many of the neighborhood kids eventually end up in my martial arts when their parents "don't know what to do with them." COVID was telling. Not much changed in our lives except that we had a bigger garden.
Mary, you guys are such incredible parents! It is really challenging now with the cost of childcare, to have three occupied while we both work full-time. We do have some pretty serious limits for screens but I genuinely don’t know what we would do without them! I also feel like so many people who are just 10 years or so ahead of us, had family close to help. I look forward to having that in our lives soon, and I hope that that will give our kids more opportunity doing some of the things that you’ve described here! Grateful for your perspective! I was also raised where we couldn’t come home before dinner 😂 end it was huge for my imagination, and capacity for being with others.
Ah that's an idear...I may indeed write it up... I think if ya never start ya never miss whut ya don't need! an' yup, not only are the ol' ads an' commercials funny--it's far easier ta show kids how manipulative they 'R cuz the passin' of time alone lends perspective... fake butter (Parkay!) an' doc-turds pushin' cigarettes (!), an' toothpastes "featurin' " extree fluoride--so seein' the oldies let's 'em know not ta trust the newbies either! (the jingles were better then tho!)
Oooo, clever woman! Wish I'd negotiated more like a gangsta. Those kids now know the depth and breadth of your commitment to their freedom. Good for you!
My wife and I have decided on the no TV thing, and have loved it. Some of our friends have asked us, "so, what do you do...?", to which we laugh and invite them over for dinner sometime. Thanks for this!
Oh my my, such a milquetoast warnin' from the "sTurgeon gen'ral" but of course in this day n' age've "fragiles" I guess they don't wanna break anyone's animal crackers... We also went teevee free (still are!) an' no regrets! I have (like yerself) some fond mem'ries of Andy Griffith show (yet ta revisit mit die kinder) but thanx to a trusty deeveedee player we eventually introduced The Honeymooners an' I Love Lucy, both relished over time (commercial free too!) Thankfully in the homeschool world it wuz not so uncommon... ditto I know in the land've Waldorf (so at least yer kids knew of others who went that route). Sounds like yer kiddos all got good heads on their shoulders in part b/c of it and even better--they know ta thank ya fer keepin' 'em away from the "proper-ganders" that indeed do such harm. A fun thing we did (time ta time) wuz to wartch old commercials--showin' 'em how stuff wuz sold to folks which wuz a good lesson in media studies! We've always been schmart phone free (but I'd take Maxwell Schmart's shoe phone any day!)
Excellent article Mary. The concerns you raise seem to be at the top of the list of most parents today. We have walked a similar road in our family and I have been writing along very similar lines on my substack. Here a fitting quote from my recent piece "From Feeding Moloch to Digital Minimalism":
"We sense even at a gut level that something is off with the negative influence that digital devices are having on youth, that they are conduits for portable pathologies and mood manipulation. When we get specific and ask what sacrifice the Machine demands of our children in terms of their time, mental health, relationships, overall well-being, and basic connection to reality, the cost becomes striking and unacceptable. Stated in stark terms, we are sacrificing our children to a digital Moloch whose cruelties include: slave labour, sexual exploitation, solitary confinement, addiction, depression, anxiety, and suicidality."https://schooloftheunconformed.substack.com/p/from-feeding-moloch-to-digital-minimalism
Blue light hijacks our dopamine, eventually depleting it, as a result lowering melatonin, making everyone addicted, ticking-time bombs for chronic disease:
https://romanshapoval.substack.com/p/the-1-emf-youve-forgotten-about
Lovely article. Restacked! This is all the evidence anyone should need:
1 in 4 Children have had online sexual encounters with adults via social media. Nearly 1 in 3 teen girls have been approached by adults asking for nudes, while 1 in 6 girls aged 9 -12 years have interacted sexually with an adult on these platforms.
Kudos to you, Mary, and Peter for your awesome common-sense parenting. Those are three lucky children you raised. I was born in 1953 so, of course, we played outside all the time. When I had children of my own, they were outside most of the time playing with my friend's children while we always wondered where everyone else's were hiding. We did have a tv but I honestly don't remember them watching it that much. My daughter, who just turned 37, often says how glad she is that she didn't grow up with a cellphone.I'm horrified when I see a toddler in a stroller holding a phone or a tablet. And that comment at the party...just wow.